rugpull | Limelight inbox and continuations etc

If ya tell anyone m'cryin' 'll kill ya...

[said very bravely between sobs]

[ lil laugh ]

I wouldn't dare.

...be careful, won't ya? Givin' alla that away. Pieces of yerself. S'dangerous. Even with people ya can love and trust and alla that.

I'd rather think of it as sharing pieces of myself. You're helping me carry them.

[ nuzzles nettle's hair ]

But...yeah. I'll be careful.

[snuffle]

Was about t'say I wouldn't hesitate t'use it to protect myself but.

[but youd be chill with that]

But I'd want you to.

...that's how 'll carry it. As yer protection.

[ that

makes his throat go tight, give him a second to just smoosh his face into nettle's hair ]

I'll always let ya protect me, promise.

So worry less over me.

[ without lifting his head ]

I know. I know. I'm fine.

Liar.

Yer scared and worried and feel like there ain't much ya can do over any of it.

[ exhales ]

Worse than that. I'm so angry that I don't even recognize myself.

...I dunno being furious seems like a real normal way to feel about the people ya love dying and sufferin'. And being confined to a boat.

Maybe. But it scares me. And I'm afraid of taking it out on the wrong people.

Take it out on me, m'resilient.

...thats the word right I used the right word.

[ lil laugh ]

Yeah, that's the right word.

Hell yeah.

...ya ought not worry too much over what ya do later. Worry about fuck ups after ya fuck up. And everyone will forgive ya cuz we know what kinda guy ya are. Ya ain't gotta hurt for shit ya ain't done yet. Or live all confined cuz ya MIGHT be bad.

If yer angry...fuckin' be angry sometimes. Throw shit with me in the rage room. Jump on Brocade and knock the smugness outta him. Say something mean. Yer allowed t'be shitty.

I know you'd still love me. I dunno about everyone else, is the thing.

Perseus.

[takes his face in hands, careful even as he wields the name like a weapon. something sharp to draw attention and draw a line]

Ya can't see it from yer own eyes. And that's fine. Not many people can see themselves real clear I guess.

But I've watched. M'always looking.

And what I see is people always coming to be at yer side. Even when yer foolish. Even when yer harsh. People are drawn to ya. Always coming with hands and hearts open. Probably cuz you do the same to them without even thinkin'.

Yer gonna always be loved. And not just by me. Yer someone people will always make room for. So take up that space.

Greedy like a hyena. Carry that with ya as I carry yer name and love. Carry a greed and feed it. Be a glutton. Grab it all.

[ well that gets his fucking attention

hearing someone else say his name feels like a bolt of electricity crackles through his body, and his wide eyes instantly go to nettle's.

and he listens, and listens, eyebrows drawing together. does he believe all that? hard to see for himself, as nettle says.

easier question: does he believe nettle? yes, always. so he nods slowly, feels that command like a heartbeat: be greedy be greedy be greedy ]

[then hugs tight, quiet

he just wants his boy happy and healthy and surrounded by people who love him even if that makes it easier to be lost in the crowd]

[ HANGS ONTO FOR DEAR LIFE ]

[valid

crumpling into. exhausted now. this was a lot. this has all been a lot. things are a lot. hes so tired so sad so unsure so so so so many things none pleasant]

The most selfish thing,

[ said after a moment, quiet, exhausted, ]

is that I'm still glad you're here. Even though everything is basically awful. Even though we keep getting killed. Even though you have to watch us get killed, too. I'm not letting any freaky comas or anything take you no matter how bad things are or how tired you get. I need you. You're mine, too.

Edited 2024-11-25 01:31 (UTC)

[...oh hes crying again good job]

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