rugpull | Limelight inbox and continuations etc

[ going to look for nettle at some point while pROBably nursing a hangover ]

[in bed, back to the door. laying still. except that his ears perk up as the door creeks open. he's awake. just not moving]

[ going to...slowly, telegraphing his movements, walk over and slide under the covers too, facing his back

but leaving plenty of opportunity for nettle to push him away or say no ]

Mmmm.

[little tired noise of recognition. not moving away. not moving closer. ears relaxing from being completely pert and alert. deep breath in. and out. and in. and out.]

[ just listening to that for a moment ]

...you called me because you were feeling bad yesterday, and I made it worse.

S'fine, Aster.

'll remember. To help me stay alive. 'll remember what ya suffered. And what I suffered. And 'll stay alive so ya ain't ever gotta see too mucha me again.

[

bites his shoulder (not hard) ]

Did a gnat get in here.

It's not fine, it sucked. Stop saying stuff is fine or getting mad without me. Get mad at me.

[pushing himself up and turns towards him]

[ GOOD!!!!! gonna wait to see what he does ]

Ya DID see me spilled out every fuckin' where. I did die like a dumb bitch. It did suck! I AM sorry! I AINT wanted that for you OR for me. ESPECIALLY FOR ME!

[pinning Aster down by the shoulders]

But unlike you I KNOW its shit! I ain't pretendin' MY death is okay! Like s'meaningless! ITS SO MEANINGFUL! Even if NO ONE ELSE CARED. I care! I ain't wanna die! I'LL NEVER WANNA DIE!

So how can ya fuckin' act like yer shit ain't mean a FUCKING THING?! How can ya say yer death is meaningless?!

[pulls him up to slam him down]

Two lives weigh the fuckin' same!!

SO DONTCHA GIMME THAT SHIT LIKE YA AINT FUCKING MATTER DONTCHA ACT LIKE ITS OKAY IT AINT OKAY

[ there it is. and nettle should get it out, should get it out at him ]

[ but then like

]

[ it's possible he misjudged what exactly nettle was going to need to get out, at him ]

[ opens his mouth to calmly explain what he actually meant yesterday ]

That's not the same thing! Maybe it's not okay but it's NOT THE SAME!

[ reaches up to shove him off!! ]

You were murdered, and I was stupid. That doesn't even START to compare.

DEATH IS STILL DEATH AND IT MAKES ME SICK THAT YA AINT SEE THAT

[throwing all his weight into trying to keep Aster down. though strength isnt his strong suit. he's more built to be nimble]

[ maybe so, but it's enough to keep aster down right now ]

IT WAS A STUPID MISTAKE! I wanted to learn why we're still here! I didn't! I wanted to find a way out! I didn't! I didn't even mean to get hurt, and I screwed that up too!

OF COURSE YA DID CUZ YA DIDNT EVEN ASK ME TO HELP

BECAUSE WHAT IF —

[ stops, swallows that ]

WHAT IF WHAT ASTER

...because if it did go bad, and it went bad for you, or if you had to see something awful, then it would've really been my fault.

...lemme help and maybe 'll be able to save ya

day 221

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